but most of the time they're realy quite good!

i swim in the ocean everyday

and all they do is swim away!

no sharks aren't dangerous!" a diver once said,

just before one bit off his head!!!!!!                  

I AM A LITTLE PEN, I'M FULL OF GOEY INK, AND SOME SILLY JOKER MADE MY INK PINK! YOU MAY ALL LAUGH AND THROW ME AWAY BUT I WILL GET MY REVENGE ONE DAY! YOU'LL NO LONGER LAUGH INFACT YOU'LL CRY, WHEN I TURN AND POKE YOU IN THE EYE!

A (PSYCHO) GNOME POEM

I'm a garden gnome, and this is what i do

i wait behind a flower pot and when you pass, shout BOO!

i sit upon that flowerpot with my little wooden rod

in hope that one fine day i'll catch a lovely cod

i do not shave my beard i  look like santy clause

i stand all year smiling outside your kitchen doors!

but if you throw me out  my smile will surely fade

and i will come after you with a 10 inch blade

i may be funny, i my be cute,

but i will turn nasty if you give me the boot

i'll sneak into your bedroom in the middle of the night

and with a hugh carving knifei'll give you quite a fright!

so keep me, love me, tresure me,

cos if you don't you'll no longer be!

yes i'm an evil gnome with a little wooden rod

you thought i was cute but i'm realy a sod

SO BEWARE!

beware the garden gnome, he is coming for YOU!

THE FOOTBALL!

i am a little football

once iwas brand new

but now i have and owner

i don't know what to  do!

he throws me and kicks me against the wall

no one takes sympothy on a  little ball

but i got my revenge, i made him cry

when i flew full force and hit him in the eye!

THE BURP!

I couldn't control it

it came from below

so i opened my mouth and i let it go

it was so loud i began to see

everyone turned an looked at me!

i wouldn't hve minded

i don't often fuss

but it had to happen on a crowded bus!!!!!!